; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
