Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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