Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Randomize
