I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
