You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
