ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize