I have demons in me.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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