Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
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She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
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Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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