My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize