Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
