And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
