this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
i think im in europe. pls send help
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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