Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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