I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
