Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
