tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
