Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
