when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
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tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
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