I'm jealous of your bromance
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
