she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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