This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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