Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
