Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
