i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize