I never want to see another naked old woman again.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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