Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night