whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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