we're blogging at a bar
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
