It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
