I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
