Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Randomize
