apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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