my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
