I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
