i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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