He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
