i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
