i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
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