i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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