I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I just gargled with NyQuil
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
