If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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