The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
