i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
