we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
