I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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