Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
soo... how was my night?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
