to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
