Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
