4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
