I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
