is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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