Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
