Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
