I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
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