Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize