I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
