i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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