Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
