Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Two words: nipple clamps
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