he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize