I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
