Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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